Mind your damn business

I had a Mama Bear special needs teacher moment today (Tuesday, it’s taken me 2 days to decide to post)…

Jace was playing out front when we got home from school like he often does. Our neighbor was out watering his flowers and Jace always likes to help or ask about the flowers, fine, no problem. Jace starts playing Ninja Turtles with him and continued being a 3 year old. After a couple times of me asking Jace to be careful and chatting with said neighbor he asks, “how does he fall on the charts? Is he typical?” To which I said, “yeah he’s actually pretty high in all areas: academics, social and motor skills etc.” This neighbor then asks if I think he is on the autism spectrum. I said, “no, I am a special education teacher and am hyper sensitive to any and all signs of learning needs and also know the importance of early intervention .” To which he said “well ADD is considered on the spectrum now, I learned that from being a camp counselor.”

Long story short…

First of all, so what if he was on the spectrum? Should I send out a notice to all neighbors informing them that they are living next door to a child with special needs? Second, he does not have any learning needs at this time and it takes some serious balls to even ask a mom that. Third, mind your damn business. It’s called being a 3 year old and sometimes listening to your mom just isn’t what he feels like doing, that doesn’t mean he is special needs, it means he’s 3.

Moral of the story…. mind your damn business. If you think you see a child with special needs be kind and do not ask the parents what their diagnosis is, it’s none of your damn business! I am a professional in the field and would NEVER ask or offer my advice without the parent engaging or asking me questions. I will say I’m positive he had no ill intent but he also did not use his best judgment or have any social awareness about speaking to a mom about her child. I wish I would have said more and educated him better but my son was there and I didn’t want him to hear the conversation.

Now I have never felt more proud of my son and who he is. I love him for him. He is smart, inquisitive, personable, naughty, engaging and so so much more. Do me a favor and mind your damn business when it comes to parenting.

Thanks 🙂

I wrote the above post the night all of this went down… I am now adding my second major mama bear moment that happened today at Costco…

I swear I’ll make it as short as possible. Bria and I were walking into Costco (she was not actually walking but in her stroller haha), along the long sidewalk stretch in front of the Santa Rosa Costco I hear “Her baby is going to get hit by a car because she is texting.” Oh no he didn’t. I swung my head around and said, “You have no Fu$%ing clue what kind of mom I am, that is mom shaming and I will NOT stand for it.” In which he replies, “Maybe you shouldnt be eavesdropping on my conversation.” Dude (65 year old man at least) was literally right behind me and speaking to his grandson. I said, “you need to turn you volume down, that is NOT okay.”

Again people, MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!! My children are beyond taken care of and loved, so sue me for responding to a text after I parked. Maybe I’ll respond driving next time. Ugh

Meal plan for a month

Turns out losing the baby weight is significantly harder the second time around, and also turns out that having a baby right before the holidays is practically the worst because I gave myself a “pass” to eat everything in sight. Well three months later and the most successful I have been in losing the weight is when I mix my delicious Herbalife shakes and products with Sugarbusting. The following is one month worth of delicious gluten, sugar, dairy free recipes that will help out with the dreaded belly fat! Weekly grocery shopping lists included (household spices and cupboard items not included in grocery list). You’re welcome!

Week #1

Zucchini boats
Recipe

Cilantro Lime Crock Pot Chicken
Recipe

Stuffed Bell Peppers
Recipe

Balsamic pork chops
Recipe

Grocery List:
Chicken
Pork chops (6)
Whole chicken
Ground beef or turkey
Bacon
Zucchini-4
Yellow onion
Tomato sauce
Frozen corn
Pico de gallo
Lime juice (3)
Garlic
Cilantro
Sun dried tomatoes
Eggs
bell peppers (6)
Balsamic Vinegar

Week #2

Pot Roast
Recipe

Coconut Lime Chicken
Recipe

Buffalo Chicken Sweet Potatoes
Recipe

Steak with veggies and cauliflower rice

Grocery List:
3 lb chuck roast
Boneless chicken breast (4) + (3)
Flank Steak
Asparagus (or other veggie)
Cauliflower Rice
Red onion
Sweet onion
Garlic
Shallot
Tomato paste
Balsamic vinegar
Beef broth
Chicken Stock
Lime juice
Full fat coconut milk
Franks buffalo sauce
Sweet potatoes (4)
Corn starch

Week #3

Twice Baked Breakfast potatoes
Recipe

Sweet and Spicy pineapple Salsa Chicken (Not completely sugar buster approved)
Recipe

Sweet Potato Waffles
Recipe

Lettuce Wrapped Burgers: I top with bacon and avocado and wrap with green leaf lettuce

Grocery List:
Chicken Breasts (2)
Ground beef
Sweet Potatoes (4-5)
Bacon
Sweet onion
Eggs
Mild Salsa
Pineapple Chunks (can)
Can of Black Beans
Can of Corn
Can of green chiles
Kale
Avocado (2-3)
Green leaf lettuce

Week #4

Carnitas
Recipe

Stir Fry: Chicken apple sausages, mushrooms, onions, brussel sprouts etc.

Sweet Potato Chili
Recipe

Slow Cooker Creamy Southwest Chicken
Recipe

Grocery List:
Pork Shoulder Roast
Boneless chicken thighs or breasts
Ground Beef
Garlic
Red onion
2- 4 oz cans of diced green chiles
Chicken Broth
1 can tomato sauce 29.5 oz
Diced tomatoes (2 cups)
Beef Stock (3 cups)
Large carrots
Sweet potatoes (6)
Bay leaves
Red bell peppers (2)
Chicken broth
Lime juice
Full fat coconut milk

Bria’s Birth

For my very first blog post I decided to share my sweet Bria’s birth story. My very wise birthing teacher, Willow, said to hurry up and write it down before it is forgotten. So three months later I am seeing what I can remember.

First, let me backtrack a little… My son, Jace, was born at 38 weeks because I was diagnosed with preeclampsia, so naturally I thought that this baby would be early too. When I hit 38 weeks pregnant with baby #2 I was mentally preparing to go into labor any day. Another thing on my mind at this point was that my labor with Jace was only four hours long from beginning to end so I was on high alert and refused to have this baby in the car.

Well, 38 weeks hit and there were no signs of labor… any day now right? I can’t remember if I was dilated at this point but was definitely just a normal 38 week pregnant woman walking around being pregnant. At my 39 week appointment my blood pressure was pretty high, which drew concern because of my preeclampsia history. I was asked to come back the next day for a re-check to make sure I was not at risk for gestational hypertension, if I were to have high blood pressure I was to be induced that night. My blood pressure was good, which was of course, great news but I was still pregnant with no action. My blood pressure continued to be monitored throughout the week but never reached concern again. So now here I am at my 40 week appointment, an appointment I NEVER thought I would see. At Kaiser they will not do an elected induction until 41 weeks, however, my doctor said that I had a few “light” issues (blood pressure, severe pelvic pain, huge as shit, stuff like that) that together could make a case for an elected induction if I wanted to. The word elected did not sit well with me. I had always said, “the baby will come when she’s ready” and “I would never be induced if it wasn’t medically necessary.” But here I was so miserable in my pregnant body that I was planning on going forward with an elective induction. My doctor made my mind at ease when she explained that at her old OBGYN office she would allow elective inductions at 39 weeks and that it is just Kaiser’s policy to not allow them until 41 weeks. My next instructions were to call Labor and Delivery at 6:00pm to see if they had an open room for me to be induced. I leave the appointment, call our troops and come up with a game plan. My mother in law would come down to be with my son and my mom and sister will come down Wednesday night to be with Justin and me throughout labor.

Wednesday October 26, 2017
6:00 Call Labor and Delivery: There’s a room waiting for me. Shit, this is really happening. I then took a long hot shower, cried the whole time and ate a yummy dinner because I did not know when either of those things would happen again. I also made sure to spend as much time with Jace as possible. These were my last moments with him as my only child. I am not sure if he knew how his world was really changing, but he wished us well on our way to the hospital.

7:50 Justin and I head to Kaiser nervous as shit

8:00 We check in downstairs, fill out our insurance paperwork and then head up to Labor and Delivery on floor 3

8:15 We get to our room. It was a great corner room, but the second I entered all of my traumatizing memories from Jace’s birth come flooding back to me. There was a crib in this room for goodness sakes!! A baby is coming out of my body and will be laying in the crib some time in the next 24 hours. Holy moly. I am immediately told to get naked and get my sweet hospital gown on with the open part in the back of course. My first nurse, Sarah (I think?) was just amazing. After I started to get hooked up and monitored I began to sob, like uncontrollable ugly cry. She stopped with the logistics of her nurse duties grabbed my hand and started really getting to know my fears and worries. My fears included but were not limited to: being induced, the baby coming way too fast, the pain–the feeling of absolute death while laying in the bed, hemorrhoids (TMI I am sure!!) coming back and with a vengeance, my son, my sweet sweet son who will no longer be my only child, the list goes on and on. Sarah had the softest voice and the calmest demeanor, she was literally my angel in that moment.

9:30 Midwife and doctor come in to check me and discuss my options for induction. My doctor was the at the hospital that night, which is part of the reason we were scheduled for Wednesday. The midwife checked me and I was 3.5 cm dilated which was 1.5cm more than I was the day before, this was a good sign that my body was making progress. I had two options for being induced: Misoprostol, which is a pill and also how I was induced with Jace or with a low dose of Pitocin. I have always heard stories about how Pitocin can affect contractions, births and are more likely to lead to a C-Section so I was VERY freaked out about the Pitocin. But after my doctor explained to me the benefit of Pitocin is that they can stop it and let my body take over if necessary, but the pill would just be in my body and my body would react accordingly and we would not be able to stop it if we needed to. Since I was 3.5cm dilated on my own they suggested the Pitocin, but the decision was ultimately up to me. After asking a bajillion questions they left me to discuss it with Justin and my nurse.

11:30/12:00 This may or may not be an accurate time stamp, but I’m confident no one cares about that anyways. Nurse starts me on the lowest dose of Pitocin they can and are monitoring how my body responds to it.

1:00 I start feeling what I think are mild contractions so I stay in bed and try and breath through them, trying not to wake my snoring husband. The contractions are getting a little more regular, but I still feel like I am working through them well.

2:15 I call for my nurse to come help me unhook my wires so that I can go number two. As I stand up to walk to the bathroom my water breaks. I take care of business and waddle my way back to my bed. Now my snoozing husband is awake so he makes himself useful and calls my sister to let her know that my water broke so it may be within a couple hours that I start really going into labor.

2:20 After a lot of thought I decide to give this epidural business a try. I never understood how anyone could describe labor as relaxing or amazing, but realized those who did had an epidural. I wanted that experience. I was left very traumatized from my all natural drug free birth of Jace. At this time my doctor and the midwife are in an emergency C-section and unavailable to check my progress in order to determine if I’m ready for an epidural. I had really only been in labor for an hour and was only at 3.5cm dilated when that started. Well my contractions got harder and I was in extreme visible pain so the doctor ordered to just go ahead with the epidural and she will check me once I’m comfortable (assuming that would happen after the epidural).

2:45 The anesthesiologist comes into my room ready to do business and help a sister out. I had heard that getting the epidural is pretty painful, so I felt prepared and actually took it like a champ. Everything was inserted the medicine was flowing and BAM bad contraction. Fear begins to sit in, but the anesthesiologist says it may take a few minutes. BAM hard intense contraction hits again and the moans are going. She then says to me very matter of fact, “Yeah this just isn’t going to work on you.” To which I replied with complete grace, “Are you fucking kidding me?!?!” I looked at Justin and said, “I can’t do this again.” But alas, I was and was in full. Blown. Labor. I was 7.5cm dilated and progressing by the minute.

3:00 My sister and mom mosey into the delivery room thinking I had just started laboring. Nope, I was dying and the baby was close. My mom came over and knew it was go time. I remember looking up at my mom and saying, “I can’t do this mommy.” Just like that I was a 4 year old little girl who needed her mom to take the pain away. Too bad she couldn’t. Meanwhile, my sister is getting straight to her task of setting up my new fancy schmancy camera. I am in no state of mind to help her so she continues to struggle and is not yet at my bedside. I have the urge to push but the nurses tell me to wait until the doctor is in the room. News flash!! There is no stopping the urge to push so I push a few times sans doctor in my room.

3:05 Doctor enters the room and gets straight to suiting up and preparing for a delivery. She sits down and the first thing she says is, “She has a lot of hair!” Oh man, she sees the baby!!

3:12 After 3 big pushes, my sweet sweet baby girl makes her entrance into this crazy world and straight onto her mama! This time around was so much different than my first, I was actually able to hold my baby and get some quality skin to skin!

4:30 The nurses peel her away from me to get her stats.

Bria Christine
3:12am
7 lbs 14 oz
19.5 inches

If you made it this far, thanks for caring and taking the time to read about one of the most important days of my life.

Mika