I had a Mama Bear special needs teacher moment today (Tuesday, it’s taken me 2 days to decide to post)…
Jace was playing out front when we got home from school like he often does. Our neighbor was out watering his flowers and Jace always likes to help or ask about the flowers, fine, no problem. Jace starts playing Ninja Turtles with him and continued being a 3 year old. After a couple times of me asking Jace to be careful and chatting with said neighbor he asks, “how does he fall on the charts? Is he typical?” To which I said, “yeah he’s actually pretty high in all areas: academics, social and motor skills etc.” This neighbor then asks if I think he is on the autism spectrum. I said, “no, I am a special education teacher and am hyper sensitive to any and all signs of learning needs and also know the importance of early intervention .” To which he said “well ADD is considered on the spectrum now, I learned that from being a camp counselor.”
Long story short…
First of all, so what if he was on the spectrum? Should I send out a notice to all neighbors informing them that they are living next door to a child with special needs? Second, he does not have any learning needs at this time and it takes some serious balls to even ask a mom that. Third, mind your damn business. It’s called being a 3 year old and sometimes listening to your mom just isn’t what he feels like doing, that doesn’t mean he is special needs, it means he’s 3.
Moral of the story…. mind your damn business. If you think you see a child with special needs be kind and do not ask the parents what their diagnosis is, it’s none of your damn business! I am a professional in the field and would NEVER ask or offer my advice without the parent engaging or asking me questions. I will say I’m positive he had no ill intent but he also did not use his best judgment or have any social awareness about speaking to a mom about her child. I wish I would have said more and educated him better but my son was there and I didn’t want him to hear the conversation.
Now I have never felt more proud of my son and who he is. I love him for him. He is smart, inquisitive, personable, naughty, engaging and so so much more. Do me a favor and mind your damn business when it comes to parenting.
I wrote the above post the night all of this went down… I am now adding my second major mama bear moment that happened today at Costco…
I swear I’ll make it as short as possible. Bria and I were walking into Costco (she was not actually walking but in her stroller haha), along the long sidewalk stretch in front of the Santa Rosa Costco I hear “Her baby is going to get hit by a car because she is texting.” Oh no he didn’t. I swung my head around and said, “You have no Fu$%ing clue what kind of mom I am, that is mom shaming and I will NOT stand for it.” In which he replies, “Maybe you shouldnt be eavesdropping on my conversation.” Dude (65 year old man at least) was literally right behind me and speaking to his grandson. I said, “you need to turn you volume down, that is NOT okay.”
Again people, MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!! My children are beyond taken care of and loved, so sue me for responding to a text after I parked. Maybe I’ll respond driving next time. Ugh